My Love

It's been five years today, since losing you, my love. You are my heart, my hope, my joy, my best friend, and forever and always, my sweet baby girl. People ask me all the time if it gets easier. I explain that the grief and sadness I feel everyday gets softer as time goes by, and yes maybe even a little easier to bear, but the missing and longing, do not get easier. I don't think anything will ever change this feeling of emptiness of missing you in this life. You made me proud everyday of your life and I hope and pray that I made you proud too. I was honored to be your mom and to call you my daughter. If you are lighting up Heaven half as much as you lit up the lives of your loved ones, that must be one extremely BRIGHT place.

Love you forever and always,

Mom

Holy Crap!

Holy crap it's been awhile, hasn't it? So much to talk about. First of all some ramblings...Life is good, not as wonderful as it once was with my Corrina still with me, but it's good. I've learned to deal with my grief in my own way and it seems to be working. I look forward to things now and can find joy in many people, places and things. I believe I have the love of my daughter to thank for all of this. Knowing how much we loved each other has given me the strength to carry on in this life without her, but that doesn't mean that she's not a CONSTANT presence in my life, because she is. I carry her love and memories with me every where I go. I love you RinaBean, always and forever.

Now on to my second favorite subject...knitting! So many things on the needles. A few sweaters, one in the home stretch. 2 or 3 more 1/2 way done. Socks everywhere, two pairs finished and 4 others started. A shawl finished, and 3 more started. See what I mean? I believe that I have like 12-15 projects going. Is that wrong? Is it ok? All I know is it's a wonder I can find needles when I decide to cast on something new. I must own tons of needles...LOL! I love my knitting lifestyle. It comforts me to know that I have so many projects going. Oop's I almost forgot about my spindle. I have a spinning project going on that as well.

Since my last post I've also visited my family in NY. It was an awesome trip and I have to say I have the greatest family in the whole world, and I adore them all. My sister Kathy and brother-in-law Ed took me to a yarn shop in Brooklyn, NY called the Yarn Tree. I met a lady there by the name of Sherry who was a tremendous help. We talked spinning wheels and all about fibery goodness. I purchased some beautifully colored merino/tussah silk fiber for $2.90 an oz, and a beautiful skein of sock yarn while there. Thanks to Sherry and the Yarn Tree.

Well, I guess that's it for now. Love life and keep knitting!


Ciao

Summertime

Ah, summertime. It calls to me to knit small, lightweight projects. Sock's and such. I need to get started on my holiday project list, and thankfully they are also small, lightweight projects. I can't believe that it's already the end of July. It's funny how time can go by so fast by the month, but the workday seems to just drag...lol. July is usually extremely hot here, triple digits, but so far in July we haven't reached there yet. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I despise the heat, but it hasn't seemed like July.

I'm working on a couple pairs of socks, a secret project, a money tree... ha made ya laugh. A money tree sure would come in handy now, wouldn't it?

I remember telling Corrina once that money didn't grow on tree's and she asked "why not"? Of course I don't actually remember what my answer was to that, but I can only hope that it wasn't the typical parental answer of "because I said so". It used to drive me crazy when my parents used that standard answer on me.

I also finished a couple of things. Two pairs of socks, a Citron shawl, and a Traveler's Woman shawl. I just love to knit!! Now I think I want to spin, so I'm saving for a spinning wheel. The only problem I have is that no one here locally sells them. So I'll have to travel someplace to try different models out. The closet dealer of any kind is in Dallas, I beleive. So anyway, that is next on my agenda.


Ciao

Long Time, No Blog

Wow, it's been awhile. I guess life takes over and we just have to run with it. Corrina used to say "Life Happens" instead of "shit happens". She was always wise beyond her years, like an old soul. I was thinking about her this morning and for the first time in, I don't know how long, I didn't cry. I just smiled. Thank you baby girl for all the strength you give me. I know it's because of the love.

Ok, so on to knitting. I've been knitting like crazy, and buying yarn like crazy. I've finished some socks. My goal is to make like 8 pairs by December, we'll see how that goes. I know a few ladies who have made a pair a week...whew, I think not. I might try it sometime...whew, I think not. LOL. I still have two sweaters to finish, but it's just too hot now to work on a big sweater. One is my Carli (Dk weight) and the other is my Mondo Cable Cardi (worsted weight). Sad thing is, I have just a wee bit on both till I'm finished, but it's in the high 90's and low 100's here in good old west Texas. I have two socks on the needles, My Vampire Boyfriend, using Malabrigo sock in Tiziano Red, and a creation of my own, using Stroll handpainted in Tea Party. I also have 3 shawls going, 2 beaded, one not. And I'd like to start a sweater using fingering weight yarn. I'm pretty sure I could work on that this summer without it being too hot. I'm looking at the Knitty pattern "Tempest", and one or two others, whose names have escaped me.

The summer is going to go by fast, as it always does. Scott and I have a few things planned, such as getaways, ect. And then in September, I will be visiting the sisters! I can't wait. I love them with all of my heart and soul.

Ciao!

Whats New?

Lets see, whats new? I'm still plugging along on my second sleeve of my "Carli" sweater, but right now I'm more interested in finishing my "Mondo Cable Cardi". When I reached about half way on the body, I utilized some advice from the Knitmore Girls (Gigi and Jasmin), and stopped there to go ahead and start the collar. When I finished the collar, I started the sleeves. I'm finished with one sleeve and about half way on the other. I LOVE THIS PATTERN! Thank you Bonne Marie Burns.

I'm also knitting on a sock, my own creation with some lovely merino/cashmere/nylon in soft white, baby blues & browns. That's the one I carry in my purse. And the sock on my night stand is also a creation of my own, done in Dream in Color Smooshy Happy Forest.

I'm sure I'll pick up the Carli again as soon as I'm finished with the Mondo Cable Cardi.

I'm not too sure if I mentioned that I won a Spindle Kit from Destiknit (Kerrie James). It's beautiful, and she made it herself. She also included tons of fiber and I've been playing with that, and I think I'm going to LOVE, LOVE, LOVE spinning. Is anyone surprised??? If you don't listen to her podcast, Destiknit The Podcast, I highly recommend it. She's funny, intelligent and it's a great listen.
I also recommend other podcast's as well...The Knitmore Girls, Stitch It, Kiping It Real, Barknknit, and Electric Sheep.

Corrina is probably smiling where she is right now because I always said I'd never have any use for an Ipod. Ah, how wrong I was? Well baby girl, I never said I was always right. LOL! I love you angel, always and forever.


That's it for today. Peace and blessings all around!

Ciao

Ravelympics

I feel that the Ravelympics should be an actual Olympic event. It was so much fun to compete. I finished my socks for Team Sasquatch, but only finished the body of my "Carli" for Team Knitmore, but man oh man, did I have fun...and I watched the Olympics too...great fun.

Anyway, I'm knitting fast and furious on my first Carli sleeve, and I will continue on with this till my yarn arrives for the Knitmore Girls knit-a-long. We will be knitting the Mondo Cable Cardi by Bonne Marie Burns (Chic Knits). I believe my yarn will be here today or tomorrow. If Lubbock TX had a LYS or two I wouldn't have to wait for yarn to be shipped.

I also have a sock on my needles, you know my purse knitting, and another one for my bedtime knitting. My knitting life is GOOD!

I want to share a Corrina-ism with you...when she was little girl we would watch figure skating together all the time. When someone would do a Salchow jump, Rina thought they said Sadcow jump....needless to say she and I always called it that. I had to smile, albeit bittersweetly, during the figure skating these past two weeks.
I love you my angel, forever and always!!!


Ciao

A New Year

Ah, so it's January and A BRAND NEW YEAR. Sometimes I look back and remember the amazing memories of my life with Corrina, other times I look to the future and try to imagine what the future holds for me without her. I've finally reached a place where the pain has softened enough for me to move on, and even to look forward to things happening in my life. Does it mean that I don't cry everyday anymore? No, because I still do. Does it mean that I don't think about her every minute of every day? No, because I can't think about much else sometimes. All it seems to mean is that I can now find joy in my life again. And knowing my sweet baby girl as I do, I know that somehow she's helped me reach the place I'm at now. Thank you RinaBean...I love you so!

On to all things knitty....I have joined two Ravelympic teams on Ravelry. For Team Knitmore I will be making (attempting) a sweater, and for Team Sasquatch, a pair of socks. Very ambitious goals don't ya think??? The sweater will be knit when at home in front of the TV, and the socks as my take-along and knit-in-bed project. So we shall see just how ambitious I am.

I have finished a few things since my last post. Two pair of socks, a shawl, and two neck warmers. Still also plugging along on all my other WIP's. Too many to mention :)


That's all I have for today.


Ciao

Oh Wow!!

Thanksgiving and Christmas have both come and gone. Where the heck was I? Why didn't I blog more? Was I too busy??? No! Was I too lazy??? That's probably closer to the truth. Bad Michelle! Or should I say, Bold Michelle. When Corrina was little she had a wonderful babysitter, June, and June always said that her "kids" weren't bad, they were bold. So I'm going with June on this one and I was bold not to post sooner.

What's new? Let's see. Quite a few projects started and finished. Quite a few projects not touched since the last time I posted, and quite a few projects worked on but not finished : ) I started and finished two pairs of wristers, a gorgeous cashmere Heart To Heart scarf, a pair of socks and a cabled neck warmer. I worked a little on each of two sweaters and started working on 4 pairs of wristers for my co-workers.

Christmas was pleasant enough, but something was missing...OTHER THAN MY CORRINA, of course. I think it was decorations and presents. I thought that I only wanted to decorate Corrina's mantle, but I did really miss the tree this year. And Scott and I decided not to exchange gifts as we buy ourselves whatever we want anyway, but....I think I missed the whole opening up something we specially picked up for each other. Next year I'll do things different.



Ciao

Where Did October Go?

Man, oh man, time sure is flying by. I can't believe it's November already. Only 39 days till Christmas. I'm almost ready, gift wise anyway. I didn't knit any gifts, I just bought things. I didn't want to create any pressure on myself to have to finish something. I enjoy my knitting too much to make a chore out of it, or to make it seem like something I have to do instead of something I want to do.

Corrina loved this time of year, from Halloween on. She loved all the sights and sounds of the Holiday season. I try to still decorate in her memory, but the last few years were hard...maybe this year it'll be easier.

Anyway, tons of knitting going on. Lots of things started, not too much finished...:)
I finished two pairs of socks, and a pair of fingerless mitts. Speaking of knitting, I think I need to get back to it....right now! Ciao!

Where Does The Time Go?

I looked at the calendar today and was like...OMG, it's October. I sort of limped through September as it's a TOUGH month for me, for Scott and for the whole family. But it's now past and another year without my sweet baby girl has begun. I miss her so MUCH, and even just typing those words, let alone saying them out loud, can NEVER truly express the hurt, pain, longing, missing...She was everything.

Onward to all things knitty...I seem to be knitting constantly but not finishing too much, ha ha! It couldn't be because I keep casting on for NEW projects could it? :)
I keep seeing things on Ravelry, or hearing about something on a podcast, and next thing you know, the yarn is purchased or destashed and somehow it gets cast on.

Could this be considered an obsession? In my case, the answer is YES, YES, YES. But I love it and I don't want to stop, so it could then be considered an addiction...again the answer is YES. It's all just so much fun. I've been working on my Palette Fair Isle, and two pairs of socks, and the mystery colorwork KAL from Knit Picks, and my Aeolian, and the Traveling Woman shawl, and the Featherweight cardigan...oh my, quite the list. I better stop blogging and get knitting :)